On the eve of my 46th birthday, I lay in bed unable to sleep. Not that birthdays have ever been a big deal to me but since I became a grandfather, I’m looking at life a little differently.
I started thinking about what I’ve accomplished in life. Thinking hard, trying to list off what my claim to fame might be. I thought about my kids and how I’ve had a positive effect on people. I tried to recount what contribution I had made to the human race. I kept looking back on life for some meaning.
Then it hit me!
I was thinking all wrong. In fact I had allowed my thinking to become dangerous.
I tell people to keep looking toward the future. You’ve read it here, but here I was, looking back.
Someone once said that if your future looks brighter than your past, then you have a future. (no that wasn’t me)
Spending too much time thinking about what you have done (or not done) ends up providing an excuse to do nothing. Or at least not dream about your future.
I don’t know about you, but I found that certain milestones in my life caused me to be more reflective than others. The birth of our granddaughter, death of a grandparent, graduation of a child, the fact that I didn’t have to buy school supplies this year for the first time in eighteen years. Maybe events like these cause you to look back just a little more than you should.
Here’s some ideas on how to readjust:
- Do something you’ve never done before. Trying something new will help you change your focus from the past to future. It may be more difficult that you realize but it will be worth the effort.
- Give yourself a mental kick in the pants. A not so subtle mental readjustment may be all you need. Be firm with yourself and get your mind back where it should be. Looking forward and upward instead of focussed on the tiny navel in the middle of your belly.
- Dream with your spouse, friend or other significant person in your life. Sharing dreams with others is a sure way to get excited about the future again. One caveat: make sure those you dream with are encouragers.
- Buy some new clothes. I know clothes don’t sound like an answer and I’m not encouraging comfort shopping, but it’s been said that clothes make the man. I went out and bought a new pair of jeans today only to discover that I’ve lost one waist size. Wooohoo! Feeling better about the future already.
- Take a trip. Where have you always wanted to go? Where have you never been before? Well? What are you waiting for?
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Posted by Pages tagged "reflective" on August 21st, 2008.
Something about getting older seems to make me think more too. I’ve tried the mental readjustment and it works. It’s so easy to look back. Learning to live today and look towards the future has a way of making things better. Thanks for the link.
Posted by cliffordthedawg on August 21st, 2008.
clifford,
yeah the aging thing definitely has it’s challenges. Happy to link to an article that I thought was worth reading. Thanks for stopping by.
Posted by DaveOlson on August 21st, 2008.
This is an excellent article, Dave (it would be even if you hadn’t linked to me!
). There are several major “milestones” in my life as well that cause me to look back more often than I probably should, and I’m always working on letting them be (and keeping them as) learning experiences, reference, etc., and NOT reasons ( 
excuses) to be stagnant.
Posted by Alicia, Mental Health Notes on August 21st, 2008.
Alicia,
Good thought. I think the challenge is to let our milestones become a launching pad for the future rather than a viewing area for the past. Thanks for dropping by. (even if I had to invite you
)
Posted by DaveOlson on August 22nd, 2008.
Dreaming together is the very important part of any relationship. But so many couples don’t do it.
Posted by Jeff on August 27th, 2008.
Hi Dave
Being 48 myself, I had starting thinking about the same things. I am forward thinking but as I approach 50 I feel a sense of urgency to complete some of the things on my bucket list.
Thanks, Tom
Posted by Personal Dwvwlopment by TRCoach on September 13th, 2008.
Posted by Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk on September 14th, 2008.
Jeff, you are absolutely right about that. As couples we need to dream… it’s an essential part of relationship.
TRCoach, Yeah that sense of urgency is definitely increasing. For me it started to get really strong when our first grand child was born. Somehow I felt like I had moved up on the generational heap. Really messed with my head for a while. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Jean… Of course your doing something right.
And that’s what the past should do, encourage us to do more in the future. Awesome comment.
Posted by DaveOlson on September 14th, 2008.