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Ignore people – Who needs ‘em anyway

May 15
Posted by DaveOlson in Leadership

You notice him before he notices you. Good thing! Now you can duck out the closest door rather than spending the next half-hour listening to him complain about everything in the office.

Scammed again! She asked you for money to help pay the rent, but as you drove by McDonalds on the way home you see her car in the drive-through line-up. It looks like the whole soccer team is getting a happy meal… on your dime!

You joined the group hoping to gain workplace skills that would propel you forward in your career. After the second meeting you realize it’s a complete waste of time. You paid to hear the instructor but the only one who ever speaks is that know-it-all from another firm.

Sound familiar? It doesn’t take many encounters like that to get you thinking. Who needs people anyway?

It’s not that we don’t need people. It’s just that we need the right kind of people in our lives. If you are going to ignore people, make sure it’s the wrong kind of people.

What kind of people do you need in your life in order to become excellent? Who contributes to your success and who doesn’t? Do you have any criteria for the people who you allow to get closest to you?

How about these?
  • People who are encouraging but honest
  • Someone who will challenge you
  • Friends who are interested in you
  • Comrades who inspire you
  • People who are committed to your success
  • Someone to check up on you
  • People who keep you accountable to your goals
  • People who love you

Who would you add?

There is a catch!

As a general rule, the people that you attract are really a lot like you. In fact it is quite difficult to gather people around you who are substantially different in their goals and values.

Last week all of the members of our leadership team did a personality test for fun and to help us work together more effectively. Out of 10 people, there were 6 who had melancholy as their primary personality trait. Big deal you say.. but wait there’s more. I am the primary founder and recruiter of the team and guess what personality type I am… you guessed it: Melancholy!

Do you see any connection?

Let’s talk!

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  • http://www.inspirationbit.com inspirationbit

    I would add:
    - Someone with a great sense of humour
    - People who I can learn from
    - People who are interesting enough that I’d like to find out more about.
    - Comrades whom I inspire :-)

  • DaveOlson

    Inspirationbit… thanks for stopping in. You are always welcome here. I agree with you, Rory has a great sense of humour.

    Comrades who I inspire… that’s great. All of us feel more valuable when we are giving to others.

  • http://www.alltipsandtricks.com Simonne

    All kinds of people that you mentioned are very good to be in someone’s life. Yet, if you put it this way, it’s rather hard to control the situation. I would say that I need in my life the following people:
    - the ones whom I honestly encourage
    - the ones whom I challenge
    - the ones I’m interested in and whom I inspire
    - people whom I love

    I suppose it is pretty much the same as you wrote, but putting it this way gives me the illusion of choice and control. Of course, if they are not resonating with my feelings, they’d be eventually dropped out of my life.

    Many thanks for linking to my article. :)

  • DaveOlson

    Hi Simonne. You are right it is far easier to control what we bring to the table. Love your insight. :smile:

  • http://www.inspirationbit.com inspirationbit

    Thanks for the welcome, Dave. I will definitely be stopping by here more often.

    Simonne, where do you get such wisdom from? :-)

  • http://www.BillionDollarBaloney.blogspot.com BillyWarhol

    Good Points*

    yeah a Sense o Humour is essential!!

    ;) ) :lol:

  • DaveOlson

    Hi Billy… thanks for stopping in and bringing your funny bone. :grin:

  • http://www.zath.co.uk Zath

    Some very good points here. I had not considered the type of people that you end up surrounding yourself with in your life, but for the most part they are of a similar type. However, i suppose that is also the basis of friendships in that you have these things in common and can easily relate to each other.

    But then, it’s also alway good to have people around that are different who complement your skills and outlook.

  • DaveOlson

    Welcome Zath.. glad you found something of value here.

    Another point I wanted to make was that you have to be intentional in order to attract different types of people into your life. By default we will have only those similar to us.

    Thanks for stopping in and joining the conversation.