The ultimate guide to a mediocre life
May 5, 2007 in Personal Development
You too can live a mediocre life!
Are you sick and tired of all the self-help stuff around you? Personal productivity and personal growth just not your thing? You just want to be left alone to be who you are. Well you’ve come to the right place today.
Just follow these tips make sure that your life turns out mediocre.
- ignore people – who needs ‘em anyway
- don’t set any goals – what’s the point?
- stop reading – it’s too difficult especially things like productivity guides and secrets to success
- don’t plan for anything – we all know that stuff just happens
- stay in bed more – the work will still be there when you eventually get up
- hang around depressing people
- ignore your health
- blame everyone else for your problems
- remember that the world owes you something
- give up when things are tough
- don’t try anything new and criticize anyone who does
- don’t travel – there’s a lot of weirdos out there and you gotta be careful
- remind yourself that the government is out to get you
- listen to your critics – then get discouraged
- tell yourself you can’t do anything
- buy every useless gadget you see – can you ever have enough ginzu knives?
- nurture your disappointments – remind yourself that stuff just never works out for you
- always be afraid of failing
- keep as many grudges as you can – that way you know who to blame
- watch lots of tv – it will help develop your sense of apathy and listlessness
- never ask for advice – I mean come on, who’s smarter than you anyway?
- never really believe in anything – don’t have any passion (except maybe for beer)
- oh yeah and one more: always be indecisive – don’t let anyone know what you really think
Of course if this list is too difficult there is a shortcut. Just don’t do anything. Eventually you will achieve your ultimate goal of mediocrity or less!
I know the list is somewhat less than mediocre, but with your help we could raise it to a new mediocre level. What tips do you have for those aspiring to be mediocre? Let’s talk!
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