You’re enjoying a friendly conversation with two friends at work, when someone you have never met before walks up and butts in on the conversation. You are all aghast at the impropriety of this intruder. Social faux paux!
So you moved to a new community or job and you’re stuggling to make new friends. You try to connect but office politics and unspoken rules defy your every effort. It’s difficult in your new environment unless you already have a social network. It can be lonely and frustrating trying to make new friends. However the blogosphere is different and breaks a lot of the social taboos that govern face to face relationships.
It’s easy to build relationships in the brave new Web 2.0 world.
Here are some things that are allowed in the blogosphere when you couldn’t do this in face to face relationships. As a result, things are easier in here.
-
You can join any discussion without being considered rude. It’s like being able to walk up to a group of people standing at a party and join the conversation. Even if no-one has ever met you before.. Go ahead.. leave a comment!
-
It’s okay to eavesdrop. You can stand at the edge of the group and listen to what everyone is saying. No-one will look at you funny or wonder what you’re doing there. Then when you feel comfortable, you can join in the conversation too.
-
Whispering isn’t bad. Sometimes there are things that you just don’t want to share with the group. I had a question about blog carnivals recently that I didn’t feel comfortable adding to the comments of the blog I was reading so I whispered (sent an email) to the owner of the blog. He got right back to me with the information I was looking for. No-one got offended and I didn’t break any social taboos.
-
Name-dropping is actually encouraged (within reason). Promoting other people, linking out and talking about who you’re connecting with is encouraged. I would have never known about Liz Strauss if I hadn’t heard about her from Rory. I would never have found Ben’s great blog if I someone hadn’t dropped his name while I was listening.
-
There’s time to think before you speak. Ever been in one of those conversations where someone says something and everyone gasps… Well it can happen in the blogosphere as well but it doesn’t nearly as often as face-to-face. That’s because you can think through what you are writing before you hit the submit button.
-
Everyone can talk at once. One of the most intriguing experiences I have had yet is joining in on an open mic night at successful-blog.com. Everyone is talking at the same time and you just jump in where you can. It’s exhilarating and mind-boggling
-
It doesn’t matter what you wear (or if you wear anything) Nobody notices your fashion statement. You don’t even have to have fashion sense to get connected. There’s no dress for success or power outfits here. The emperor has no clothes.
-
Your race, culture and accent don’t matter. No-one sees or cares about the colour of your skin or your funny accent. (I don’t have an accent, it’s everyone else) This is really net neutrality. You can be white collar, blue collar or no collar and you fit!
Do you find it easier to network in the blogosphere? How does the real world compare with the blogosphere in your experience? I’d love to find out what you think. Join the conversation.
SUBSCRIBE
Well done, Mr. Olson!!
Bravo all round! This is one truly entertaining as well as informative read.
I truly enjoyed. Thanks for love.
Liz
Posted by Liz Strauss on April 3rd, 2007.
Liz, thanks. I thought you had already gone to bed, but then…. you’re always blogging
Seriously, your endorsement means alot. Thanks!
Posted by Dave on April 3rd, 2007.
Brilliant! Brilliant! This is a great take on conversation online. Really warm and humourous. And thank you for the nod. You can butt-in anytime!
Posted by Rory on April 3rd, 2007.
Rory, I think I have you to thank for getting me into the conversation in the first place. You left the first comment….
Posted by Dave on April 3rd, 2007.
[...] Break all the social taboos for better relationships [...]
Posted by Dave Olson’s Post Is Going to SOBCon - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. on April 4th, 2007.
Dave, thanks for laying these out so clearly! I just had a conversation with someone about why it’s so easy to make friends in the blogosphere, compared to face-to-face. Very nice summary!
Posted by Robert Hruzek on April 4th, 2007.
Robert, thanks for stopping in. What did your friend think about internet friends?
Posted by Dave on April 4th, 2007.
LOL since I used to get so caught up in the “corporate etiquette”… at least that’s what they called it.
Bravo on these
GP in Montana
Posted by GP on April 4th, 2007.
Hey GP, they certainly have an opinion about everything
I see you are from my favorite state. Big Sky country! Glad you enjoyed the post.
Posted by Dave on April 4th, 2007.
Thank goodness for that time to think before I speak. That’s one of the reasons I like the virtual world so much, as I’m always blurting out the wrong thing in real life! Nice post.
Posted by Randa Clay on April 4th, 2007.
Hi Randa, I bet we could have a lot of fun with “foot in the mouth” comments.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to make a comment.
Posted by Dave on April 4th, 2007.
Dave, what a great post.
I’d never thought of the behavior of online relationships as the opposite of real world (whatever that is!) relationships before. It’s a great way of looking at it.
I like Randa’s point too. The backspace key gives you a get out of jail free card. One more opportunity to think before you hit the button. Here goes…
Posted by Ripley Norta on April 4th, 2007.
Ripley, Probably the key with the backspace key is remembering to use it.
Thanks for stopping by.
Posted by Dave on April 4th, 2007.
Dave, I found your post via Liz…and she is so right. It’s terrific and invites some new perspective-taking. Thanks for helping my morning brain kick into gear.
Posted by Tammy on April 5th, 2007.
Great post, Dave. I keep trying to convince a couple of my very social non-blogging friends (including my wife) that because blogging deals with people it is the same as networking in person. Obviously I was mistaken. Thanks for pointing out some of the differences so clearly.
Posted by Chris Cree on April 5th, 2007.
I enjoyed your post and it open my mind to understanding the potential of 2.0 This tool has enabled me as a black American to be friends with people that we more than likely would never had met. If we had met, the barriers of race would keep us apart.
Posted by JD on April 5th, 2007.
[...] wrote an interesting and worth-reading post on how easy it can be to build relationships in the blogosphere compared to the offfline [...]
Posted by 5 Things You Might Want To Consider When Starting Your Online Business at SmartWealthyRich .com on April 5th, 2007.
Tammy, from the timestamp on your post, your morning sure starts early.
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by.
Posted by Dave on April 5th, 2007.
Posted by Dave on April 5th, 2007.
JD, that’s a great point. Racial barriers aren’t the same in 2.0. I’ll have to rewrite the post to include that. Thanks
Posted by Dave on April 5th, 2007.
Great post, Dave – found you via Liz Strauss.
Another point I’d add to the pile: It’s OK to shout in a crowded and busy room, as long as you’ve got something you feel is important enough to shout. The collective waning attention span and waxing thirst for something different justify emphatic repetition and promotion of ideas or announcements without too much concern for when or where the shouting occurs. The only qualifier might be something Liz often repeats: Be Nice.
Posted by Easton Ellsworth on April 5th, 2007.
Easton, I wonder how often people forget to be nice in the heat of the moment. One thing that is more difficult in the blogosphere is conveying emotion.
Thanks for stopping in.
That can be a blessing or a boon.
Posted by Dave on April 5th, 2007.
[...] Olson presents Break all the social taboos for better relationships posted at daveolson.ca – the developing [...]
Posted by Carnival of Powerful Living - April 5th, 2007 at Verve Coaching:: Life, Growth and Leadership, Boston MA on April 5th, 2007.
Great post Dave. I’m going to disagree that nobody notices what you wear. Your site is your outfit and your face. You can either look professional, sloppy, careless, or blocked off.
P.S. I really like your new look (I’m not hitting on you…the site design!).
Posted by Alex Shalman on April 5th, 2007.
Alex, you’re right of course. I was thinking more about how you can wear your pajamas or housecoat while you join the conversation.
Posted by Dave on April 5th, 2007.
[...] help build relationships without some of the same social taboos of in-person conversations. In Break All the Social Taboos for Better Relationships Dave points out that it can be a lot easier to build new professional relationships in the [...]
Posted by Mediator Tech » How Blogs Help You Build Relationships Online on April 6th, 2007.
[...] at daveoslon.ca has an analysis of the workings of web 2.0 social networking, definitely an interesting [...]
Posted by speedlinking time on April 6th, 2007.
Is that what that button is for? I’d have never guessed!
Posted by Ripley Norta on April 7th, 2007.
Ripley, yeah and you have to use that button before you hit the submit button…
Posted by Dave on April 7th, 2007.
Laziness, Money, and the Harvard Business School…
What do all these having in common?
The 40 the edition of the Personal Growth Carnival. That’s what. I’ve been picking 3 articles each week and highlighting them at the top of the carnival. Let’s get started…
bdurfee prese…
Posted by Bryan C. Fleming on May 12th, 2007.
This post made me laugh! It’s funny because it’s true!! What an interesting look at fact-to-fact vs. online conversations. Here I am jumping in on a conversation almost two months later, and it’s totally acceptable. At least I’m not as bad as Data, finally getting a joke in Star Trek: Generations that Geordi told in the Farpoint mission, 7 years earlier.
I definitely find it easier to network in the blogosphere. I chat mostly with designers in Canada and the UK and I’m from California, USA. It’s really cool. I love it!
Posted by LaurenMarie on May 29th, 2007.
LaurenMarie… it is cool how you can join a conversation months even years after it starts. It’s kinda like meeting up with a good friend after not seeing each other for years. You pick up right where you left off.
I think Data had a software upgrade sometime in those 7 years.
Posted by DaveOlson on May 29th, 2007.
Yes, yes! His emotion chip. And come to think of it, I believe Riker was the one that told the joke, but Data told Geordi he got it.
Posted by LaurenMarie on May 29th, 2007.
Okay LaurenMarie… I just checked your about page and it doesn’t say “trekkie” there but you obviously are.
You should add it. It says more about you!
Posted by DaveOlson on May 29th, 2007.
[...] Dave Olson Break all the social taboos for better relationships [...]
Posted by Comments 441- 680+: 34 Links from Successful and Outstanding Bloggers - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. on November 1st, 2007.